Complementary Colors Read online

  I wedged myself into the doorway of a vacant shop and fumbled with my cellphone. I took out Roy’s card and dialed the number.

  The phone rang.

  It picked up, and Roy’s voice bled across space courtesy of voice mail.

  I faced the corner to shield my face from a blast of wind. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bother you. But I need…” I needed somewhere safe. “You said to call so I’m calling.” I held the phone with both hands to keep it steady. “I’m going to go to your apartment. I hope that’s—” The voice mail cut off with a beep. An electronic voice offered me the chance to replay my message.

  I hung up.

  There was a line of cabs at the end of the block. I picked one and got in. “Trip Drive.”

  The cabby didn’t start the meter.

  “Did you hear me?”

  “I heard you.”

  “Then what’s the hold up?”

  “You got money?"

  I must have looked worse than I felt. “Yeah. I got money.” I pulled out a couple of twenties from my wallet and showed him. He nodded, and we merged into traffic.

  Traffic was light so it didn’t take long for the office buildings to transform into high-rise apartments that quickly shrank into storefronts. A few more blocks and abandoned factories and worn-out apartments replaced well-kept buildings.

  Young black men crowded at the corner of Roy’s street. Their skeptical gazes followed the cab as it made the turn.

  “Are you sure this is the right place?” the cabby said.

  “Yeah.” I searched for Roy’s building. But it had been raining so hard. What if I couldn’t recognize it?

  “You want me to double check the address? I gotta GPS I can plug it into.”

  “I don’t remember the address, just the street.”

  We passed a pretty Asian girl talking with a man sitting in a rusted out Impala.

  A familiar stretch of ugly brick came into view. “Pull in there.” I handed the cabby his money.

  “Are you sure, mister? This don’t look like the kind of place someone like you should be.”

  Where was that? A place drowning in desperation, filled with people trapped by circumstances so long they’d given up trying to find a way out. “I have a lot more in common with these people than you know.”

  I made my way to the building and up the stairs. It wasn’t until I reached the top that I knew for sure I had the right place. Toys and trash littered the hall, the TV was too loud, and the people in the unit at the end argued. Nothing had changed.

  Exhaustion rode over me on a wave of shivers. The artificial warmth created by the X receded, leaving me chilled.

  I staggered down the hall moving from door to door until I found the right one. I knocked, but no one answered.

  My knees gave out, and I fell in a heap. I made a sad attempt to knock again, but my arms were too heavy. Everything was too heavy.

  “Pick it up, Paris.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Pick it up now.”

  “Please don’t make me.”

  “Stop your whining, and do what I tell you. This is your mess. Now help me clean it up.”

  Julia grabbed my arm and shook me.

  “Paris? Paris, wake up.”

  I pushed at the hands cradling my face. “I’m sorry…please don’t…” It was a brush of rough fingers on my cheek that drove away the last of the dream. Worried green eyes looked down at me.

  “Roy.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I called you.”

  “I know.”

  “You didn’t answer.”

  “I’m sorry. I was on a job, I came as soon as I heard your message.”

  “I knocked. I knocked, and you weren’t here.”

  “I’m here now.” Roy put my arm over his shoulder and helped me inside.

  I stubbed my toe on the doorjamb. “My shoes.” I felt my pockets. “Fuck.”

  “Wallet?”

  “Yeah. And my phone.”

  “Just be glad that’s all they took.”

  Roy locked the door and slid his toolbox under the edge of the bed. I pulled away, took the two steps toward the sofa and fell.

  “Wait, and I’ll help you.” He led me to the bed.

  “If you want to fuck me, you only have to ask.”

  Roy took a penlight out of his shirt pocket. A beam of light seared through my eyes with the sound of nails on a chalkboard.

  “Ow. That hurts.” I batted his hand away.

  “What are you on?” He tried to shine it in my eyes again, but I buried my face into the covers.

  “For God’s sake, you’re blinding me.”

  “Fine, I’ll call an ambulance.”

  “No.” I grabbed his arm. “No…no…I’m fine. It’s just X. I’ve taken it before. I’ll be all right.”

  He pushed my bangs back. “How much have you taken?”

  “I don’t know. Julia said a line, I think I snorted half the bag, all the bag, fuck, I can’t remember.” I laughed. “My Vagina.”

  “What?”

  “They asked me what my painting was called, but I couldn’t tell them. My Vagina was the first thing that came to me. A vagina. Can you believe that? You’d think it would have been my dick, but nope.” I squeezed Roy’s cheeks with my thumb and finger. “So do you think that makes me straight?” Once I touched him, I didn’t want to stop.

  He caught my wrist.

  “But I liked the music the stubble on your chin makes.”

  Roy got out his cell. I made a grab for it but wound up with only a handful of his shirt. “No. Please. God. If they take me to the hospital, she’ll find out where I am.”

  “Who?” He all but growled the question.

  The effort to hold his gaze made me tremble.

  “Who are you afraid of, Paris?”

  The name wouldn’t form on my lips.

  “Julia?”

  I nodded. “I screwed up.”

  “How?”

  “The interview. Some big stupid interview. I must have forgotten my lines. I screwed up, and she kicked me out. She told me to go home, but I couldn’t.” I lay down and rubbed my face against the blankets. They smelled just like him. Every inch. Right to the tip of his cock. I nuzzled the folds and cradled the fabric in my arms. “I love this bed.” I inhaled so hard I snorted, and that sent me into a fit of laughter.

  Roy put his phone back in his pocket and pulled me to my feet.

  “Do you want me to blow you first or get right to main course?”

  “I’m not going to have sex with you.”

  “Aww—but why not?”

  He pried the sheets from my hands.

  “Where are we going?”

  “To sober you up.”

  “I’m not drunk, I’m high.”

  “Well, I need to do something to bring you to your senses. Besides, you’re cold.”

  “Am not.”

  “Trust me, you’re cold.”

  “You could make me warm in your bed.” He shuffled me through a door to the bathroom.

  “This will be faster.”

  “But I like your bed. Best fucking bed ever. And it smells like your cock. I love your cock. Best goddamned cock I’ve ever had.”

  “Here. Step in.”

  “But I need to take my clothes off.” Roy tossed my shirt on the floor with my slacks. “How did you do that?” I was naked. “Do you do those little balloon animals too? Can you make me a tiger? The repairman magician.”

  “Just repairman.”

  “But you made my clothes disappear.”

  “No. You’re just out of your gourd and don’t remember me undressing you.” He turned on the water. “Sit.”

  “A bath?”

  “I think it’s the best choice. I’m afraid you’ll fall.”

  “You could hold me up.” Warm water rose around me, washing away the tension in strings of pink. I flicked the ripples to make them turn violet.

  Roy knelt beside
the tub.

  “You really don’t want to join me?”

  “Not right now.”

  “You said for me to call you.”

  “I know. And I’m glad you did.”

  “If you didn’t want to fuck me, why did you tell me to call you?” Roy smiled. His lips were two strong masculine lines. “You have the best mouth.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “You should. I don’t say that often, and when I do, it’s because the mouth I’m referring to is wrapped around my dick.” I slumped to the left, and he pulled me upright. Water cascaded over my head and down my face. “What…” I wiped my eyes. Roy had a small pot in his hand. He scooped up water and poured it over me. “Where the—” I snorted to keep my nose clear. “—hell did that come from?”

  “What?”

  “The pot.”

  “I got it out of the kitchen.”

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “Then where do you think it came from?” Roy watched me with a worried expression.

  I rubbed my face. “I must be blacking out.”

  “You haven’t quit talking.”

  “Doesn’t mean anything.”

  “You sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”

  “For a black out?”

  He nodded.

  “I’m used to it. I do some of my best work when I don’t even know what planet I’m on.”

  Roy dumped another scoop over my head. “Finish telling me about the painting.”

  My ears popped under the cascade. “The what?”

  “You were telling me about the painting Julia stole.”

  “When?”

  “Just now.” His frown deepened.

  I didn’t want to, but I had to ask. “What did I say?”

  Roy handed me a washcloth from a stack on the back of the toilet. “You said you begged her not to take your painting. You didn’t want anyone to see him. It was your moment and the only thing you had to give him.”

  I rubbed my face. “Did I say his name?”

  “No.”

  “I can’t remember his name.”

  “Who was he?”

  “The boy I kissed. I think I was ten.” I hugged my knees with one arm and held the washcloth to my chest. “He looked at me like you do. Like I mean something. Like…”

  Roy stroked my head and massaged my temple with his thumbs. Light purples and scarlets burst behind my eyelids, filling my consciousness with a soft music.

  The ghost of a boy long gone brushed his lips against mine. I drank down his sigh, and he devoured my surprise.

  “Are you afraid he’ll see the painting? Is that why you don’t want it on TV?”

  “No one sees what I paint. For the world, it’s all about pretty colors and abstract lines.”

  “I do.”

  Yes, he did. And for some reason, it terrified me. “Even if I wanted him to, he can’t.” The piece of plywood covering the well made a sucking sound as we lifted it. “There’s not enough light.”

  Roy held my face. “What do you mean?”

  I leaned closer to Roy. “I’m not allowed to talk about it.”

  “Why not?”

  “Bad things happen. Terrible things.”

  “What kind of things.”

  “Please Julia, don’t leave me.”

  “Maybe a few weeks in here and you’ll learn to keep your mouth shut.”

  “Paris?”

  A heavy weight I hadn’t felt in years shifted inside my chest. I put my finger on my lips. “Shhh—you’ll wake it up.”

  “What?”

  It was right there. All I had to do was open my mouth. I looked for something to grab hold of. “I’d like to get out now.”

  He searched my face.

  “Please. I’m tired.”

  “All right.” Roy helped me stand.

  As I stepped from the tub, my foot caught the edge and I slammed into his chest. Water from my body soaked his shirt. His muscular arms turned to concrete under my hands. Trapped in his embrace, the beat of his heart thumped against my ear. I longed for the studio so I could paint the moment.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine. Just slipped.” I tilted my chin up, and it put my mouth close to his.

  The tendons along Roy’s neck strained with the effort to swallow.

  I ran a finger down one of the tight cords. “You want me.”

  He clenched his eyes shut.

  “I can see it.” I inhaled. “I can smell it.” I molded my body to his. His breathing hitched, and his grip tightened. In the depths of his green eyes boiled feral lust. I draped an arm over his shoulder and licked a line along his jaw to the soft spot under his ear. I exhaled against his skin.

  “Don’t be ashamed.” I brushed my lips against the shell of his ear. “Whatever you’re thinking. Whatever fantasy is playing in that head of yours. Let it go. Play it out.” He gave me the smallest gasp when I dropped a kiss on his neck.

  Roy ran a hand down my back to the crack of my ass.

  I raised up on my toes, encouraging him to go lower. “Touch me, anywhere you want. Inside. Outside.”

  For a man with such heavy hands, his caress was feather light. And how he cradled me didn’t match the desire in his gaze. I stood there in the safety of Roy’s arms with no idea what to do.

  “You should get some rest.” He took down the towel hanging from the shower rod and wrapped it around me. “After you take a nap, I’ll make you something to eat.” He patted my skin dry.

  “Why do you always want to feed me?”

  “Because you’re too thin, and it worries me.”

  No one worried about me. I curled under the towel, wishing I could disappear inside the folds.

  Roy put me in his bed and covered me up. The way he looked at me made me feel so small. He ran his knuckles down my cheek. “If you get cold, just tell me, and I’ll turn up the heat.”

  Then he left me there, and I slept.

  ********

  Outside the cab, the street lamps cut out swaths of orange in the black. Streamers of light broke apart on the vehicles passing by and made stars on the windshields of the ones parked by the curb.

  “Are you going to be all right?” Roy said.

  To tell the truth, I wasn’t sure. “Yeah.”

  “Do you need me to go up there with you?”

  I chuckled. “Just because I like it up the ass, Roy, that doesn’t make me a girl.”

  His face reddened. “That’s not…I didn’t mean…”

  “It’s okay.” It was my turn to be nervous. “I appreciate you letting me stay so late.”

  “I don’t mind if you stay the night.”

  “Really?”

  “I told you to stay.”

  “If I do, are you going to sleep on the couch?” His silence pushed me out of the cab.

  “Wait.” Roy ran after me. “Paris, wait. Please.”

  He caught up to me next to the doorway. The alcove we’d hidden in just a week before begged me to enter. I would have. Hell, I would have gladly blown him right here in front of everyone, but something had changed since then, and I didn’t understand what.

  I crossed my arms. The few people out this time of night wore the current club fashions in the form of glittering dresses and skinny jeans.

  “I meant it when I said I wanted to get to know you.”

  “And I meant it when I said it wasn’t a good idea.”

  “At least let me take you out to dinner. One time. A real place to sit down and eat and—”

  “No.”

  He frowned.

  “Now if you excuse me, I have a bottle of alcohol and some little pink pills calling my name.” I went to push past him, and he grabbed my arm. Before I could protest, Roy captured me next to the wall. The sudden closeness, his breath against my ear, the heat of his body radiating through the flannel shirt he’d wrapped me in, made my balls ache and my dick hard.

  “There’s a nice dark corn
er right over there.” I grazed my teeth over his earlobe. “I could lean against the glass, and you could fuck me. No one would ever even see us. But of course, you already know that.”

  “Paris…”

  “Are you hard, Roy? I don’t even have to look to know you are. I can smell you.”

  “Paris…”

  “Or maybe you’d rather stuff your cock down my throat until I can’t breathe.” Roy stepped back. The lust in his eyes disappeared under something resembling hurt.

  “I should go,” I said. When I tried to duck under his arm, he lowered it, blocking my path.

  “I go to the park every Saturday around seven,” Roy said. “I sit over by the fountain near all the dogwood trees.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “I think you know why.”

  “Then you’re going to be disappointed.”

  He tilted my chin up. I thought he was going to kiss me, but he caressed my cheek. I knew what the hell to do with his mouth, but Roy’s concern confused me.

  “Seven o’clock.” He walked back to the cab.

  “I’m not coming.”

  “Over by the fountain.”

  “I told you I won’t be there.”

  “Under the dogwoods.”

  “Goddamn it, Roy, I will not be there.”

  He got in the cab. Mist formed droplets on the window. I thought he turned to look at me, but the cab pulled out into traffic and disappeared before I could be sure.

  Water dripped from my bangs and down my cheeks. It wasn’t until it soaked the shoulders of the flannel shirt that I went inside.

  Bill didn’t look up from his newspaper when I passed him on the way to the elevator. Closed inside the small box, Roy’s scent thickened. If he’d just taken me to bed, everything would have been all right. But no, he had to go and screw things up by…

  I wasn’t even sure.

  I took off the flannel shirt with every intention of throwing the damn thing into the corner for housekeeping. Instead, I wound up pressing my face into the wad of material and inhaling. Warmth flowed through my body, but it had nothing to do with carnal need.

  I missed him. His touch. His voice. The feel of his hand over mine.

  The lift doors opened, and I stepped out.

  I didn’t even see Julia sitting on the couch. She stood. “I’ve been calling your cell phone for hours.”

  “It was stolen.” I left Roy’s shirt on the chair near the elevator.